I am so glad I got a blister today

Isabelle with Grandpa about half way through our walk. There is a geocache on this horse, but we couldn't find it.

Mama and Issy on the granite Teddy Bear. It is on the other side of the bridge at Lakeside.

Issy with the leaf she carried...the...entire...way.

Well, it has been a long two weeks with very little exercise. Two weeks ago we had inservice, and I made absolutely no time for exercising (besides the fact I was completely exhausted and had to juggle Isabelle's childcare). Then last week, we had the first week of school and I got up at 5 a.m. on Monday and walked 2 miles, but I didn't manage to walk the rest of the week. Somehow I associate "taking care of myself" with NOT exercising.

This morning though, I knew I wanted to get some good mileage in. I was hoping to get up early, walk from my parent's house (in West Highland Park) to my mom's office (in East HP) about 2.8 miles, then the 7 miles on the Katy Trail, and then 2.8 back to parent's house to total, I think, 12.6 miles. Kind of glad I slept late, so the plans changed. I made it to my mom's office around 10:30a, and managed to get on the Katy Trail pretty soon thereafter.

Mile 1 was good. Every ounce of my Sociology Minor self was so enjoying the people watching. I have the most interesting conversations with myself on these walks. They are so much more interesting than my walks on just streets with passing cars. There was a man on a bike with an old time looking front week with the diameter of probably like 6 feet and the back wheel with a 1 foot diameter. There were several families on bikes. Mostly healthy, interesting people. There was a lady swinging her arms as though they were both rigid and pendulums on clocks. It looked painful the amount of extra effort she was putting into her jaunt.

The entire time, I had a permanent smile on my face. So many thoughts were going through my mind especially the overwhelming ponderance of why I resisted walking all week, when it makes me feel SO. FREAKING. GOOD. I just don't get why my mind thinks that taking care of myself means to NOT walk, when everytime I do walk, I feel so great. The great thing about having made a commitment to the H&H Half in 4 weeks is that I knew I needed to continue to be walking.

It probably took like 30 minutes longer for me to pack up all my walking gear before leaving the house this morning since it has been a while. Shorts over here in this laundry pile, socks over here, shoes under the bed, ipod by my purse. I almost couldn't find my socks that were polyester blend therefore helping keep the sweat off my feet. Then I had the fleeting thought that since I had a small blister on my back heel (mainly because I wore big girl shoes, i.e. not crocs this week) that I should put a band-aid on and bring 2 extra just in case.

I am SOOOOO glad I did that. Turns out the scab over the blister did quite its job of protecting the heel....but...my toe started hurting about mile 4. Which by the way, the view as I was making it to the AAC (American Airlines Center) was amazing. Truthfully, there was probably nothing spectacular about the view, but it was so cool to be thinking about having walked from mom's office near Mockingbird and Central Expressway to Downtown Dallas.

Back to mile 4. My toe was hurting, and I sat down to take my sock off, and sure enough, there was a super delux blister forming. Strangely enough, all I could think was how glad I was that I had that blister. Weird, right? Well, I was thinking I was glad that I was having it today, because for

1: I was prepared with a band-aid

2: I was only doing about 10 miles rather than 13

3: it wasn't the H&H Half

4: this blister would form tougher skin that wouldn't be as likely to form a blister in the future

5: I was super glad to be able to learn from this lesson to always bring band-aids

So, today I was super grateful for my blister.

Mile 5, Dad called, and he was going to meet me at Mom's office (at the end of the Katy Trail) with Isabelle to ride her bike and us walk back to their house. I made it to the end of the Katy Trail (7 miles) in 1:58:51.47. That is about a 16:58 per mile pace. I was pretty happy with the results. The weather was awesome, and I was glad to have made it all the way to mile 7.

Around 1pm, Dad, Issy, and I headed west along Beverly Drive in Highland Park. If you are not familiar with Beverly Drive, it is definitely one of the top drives for Christmas light viewing in the winter. The homes are not only large, but they are beautifully landscaped and kept. The most interesting phenomenon is that for whatever reason about 10 years ago, the traditional 200 foot wide lot probably costing around 2-4 million was not sufficient, many people bought a next door lot to double their space. The joy of walking this way was that we got to soak in so many of the details.

Isabelle found a beautiful Magnolia Tree leaf at the beginning of the walk that she asked me to carry because it was "the biggest leaf she had ever seen in her whole life." I told her that no, she'd have to carry it. That crazy little 8 year old carried that big 'ole leaf the entire way back, wouldn't you know.

We made it easily at a very slow pace (which was nice after the faster pace on the KT). When we made it to Lakeside Drive we tood a detour to walk along Lakeside and it was so beautiful. We then walked over the bridge, ran into a high school friend of dad's who was building a house right there, and took some pictures on the granite teddy bear. We crossed Preston Road to head back on Bordeaux, and it was such a beautiful walk. It took us a total of an hour and 45 minutes to go 3.2 miles, but I should probably take off about 30 minutes we stopped to look at the friend's house and to look at this crazy house next door to it. So, it was about 1 hour 15 minutes for 3.2 miles.

My Real Time Glucose Monitoring was soooooo nice because instead of testing my blood every 2 miles, I was able to just click the button and see the trend or direction it was headed. So at 7 miles, I knew to eat raisins, but not too many. I absolutely love my new Real Time System!!

It was such a nice end to a medium speed walk to spend time with Isabelle and my dad. I soooo enjoy the quality time I get when walking (even with myself). So often throughout my day, I don't slow down to smell the roses, much less look at them. Today, my friends, I looked at the roses, and they are beautiful. 4 weeks baby!!!! And I'll have done my first Half Marathon.

Lesson for the day: Walking makes me feel good, I enjoy the journey, the view, and the feeling, taking care of myself means to walk, not skip, breaks are ok, as long as they end, add band-aids to the packing list for long walks, I love my Real Time new system, JUST SHOW UP!!!!

Part 1 - Katy Trail

Time: 10:30a - 12:30p - Part 1 Katy Trail, 7 miles

Temp: 75 - 85, cooler, clear skies

Distance: 7 miles

Time: 1:58:51.47

Pace: 16:58/m

MPH: 3.53

Half estimate: 3.71 hours

Part 2 - Beverly Drive

Time: 1:00 pm - 2:45 pm
Temp: 75 - 85, cooler, clear skies
Distance: 3.2 miles
Time: 75 minutes
Pace: 23.44 minutes/mile
MPH: 2.56

Half estimate: 5.12 hours

Just Showed Up Today

Got up at 5a. Did 2 miles in 34 minutes. Great to just get out and show up. Exhausted from day 1 of school. Glad to have made it.

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Update

Taking a break this week. Not planned or intentional, but I underestimated how stressful this week would be. I'm hoping to catch up this weekend.

Sent from my iPod

Saturday

Did 8.1 miles on Waxahachie with Brooke in 144 minutes.

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Tuesday

Don't have super long to post. First day of inservice tomorrow.

Did 4 mile loop. Saw a biker and runner loop several times. It was kind of cool being among fellow athletes. My times were:

20:12.93 - 20:13
39:05.35 - 18:53
55:53.26 - 16:48
1:11:55.43 - 16:02

Super serious negative splits. One note, I was listening to a sermon laps 1&2, and Latin music at 130 bpm laps 3&4.

Sent from my iPod

Tuesday

What is Normal?

Normal - 1 a : according with, constituting, or not deviating from anorm, rule, or principle b : conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern
2 : occurring naturally and not because of disease, inoculation, or anyexperimental treatment <normal immunity>
3 a : of, relating to, or characterized by average intelligence or development b : free from mental disorder : SANE c : characterized by balanced well-integrated functioning of the organism as a whole
4a of a solution : having a concentration of one gram equivalent of solute per liter b : containing neither basic hydrogen nor acid hydrogen <normalphosphate of silver> c : not associated <normal molecules> d : having a straight-chain structure <normal pentane> <normal butylalcohol> —nor·mal·ly /'nor-m&-lE/ adverb

This is the Medical definition of normal. Something of which I have no clear memory of feeling...normal (especially medically speaking). As early as I can remember for the most part, I have always felt abnormal, defective, and broken. Recently, through a long process of inventorying my thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions I realized how key this thought process has been a part of decisions I make, resentments I fester, excuses I use, and judgments I make. I have always thought that somewhere, somehow God messed up. And through this inventory recently, I have just barely touched on how to start approaching/thinking/viewing this abnormality in a different light. Easier said than done, right?

But oddly enough (as has actually always been the truth with my diabetes), the more I have learned to embrace my abnormality/defectiveness the more it has LESS control over my thoughts, feelings, and actions. It has been very backwards from what I would have thought. I thought that staying in denial, keeping it on the back burner, would make it less of an impairment or struggle in my everyday life.

About 10 years ago, I went on the insulin pump for my Diabetes. It took my A1C's from in the 13's to now in the lower 7s. It is recommended lower, but 7s isn't too bad. And recently, I sat in a Diabetes Exercise and Sports Association Support Group where this guy (I think I may have already blogged about this, but oh, well) said his doctor said, "I wish all diabetics worked as hard at it as you do." And his response was, "We do all work hard...ALL of us." Even those who may appear to not, still have to take shots daily, and test occasionally and feel like crud a lot, whereas non-diabetics don't have to work at that at all. I was so empowered to hear that. We do work hard...and the technology is what helps us work SMARTer.

So, after hearing about the Real Time System (which monitors the blood sugar every 5 minutes and reads it to my pump), I decided to try for it. I wasn't sure if my insurance would cover it since it expires at the end of August, but I thought, "Why not just try for it anyways. The worst they can say is no." JUST SHOW UP. So, last Monday I went out on a limb with my parents, and asked them to help out financially to make it happen. They both eagerly wanted to help. I called the Medtronic rep....she started out on a quick course. By Thursday, I was hooked up to a blind test "transmitter" as I called it to see if my blood sugars were "bad" enough to warrant needing it. And unhooked my transmitter on Sunday right after my 15K.

Oh, did I mention that my blood sugars on Thursday and Friday were so perfect they almost looked made up. I never thought I'd be bothered about good blood sugars. Well, sure enough Saturday night I ate a meal I think I incorrectly bolused for (insulin for food eaten rather than just the insulin that carries me throughout the day), and then ended up super high and then bolused for the high and got super low at midnight then high and then low...the infamous roller coaster that makes me want to hang in the highs. And all that the night before my first 15K (9.3 miles) ever!!!

Lynne, my Medtronic rep, said that if it didn't work with this insurance, we could try with the next. I knew I had already met my deductible, so hoping to see if it is cheaper now or later. We worked on cleaning the house today, and then set out to go FedEx the "transmitter" and it's charger to Lynne so she could send it to the insurance company to prove I needed it. By the time we got home from going to FedEx, wouldn't you know it...Ed from Medtronic was calling for my shipping information!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT?!?!?! I hadn't even mailed it yet. The good Lord has been working all along as I was "just showin' up". Oy, vey...I can't quit crying today...I just wept in my kitchen. The thoughts that raced through my head after the phone call were, "I never thought being hooked up to a pump and transmitter would feel so normal." "I had no idea how much I would be grateful (not even entitled) for getting to be normal." "Normal-what is normal....today, I am...I am normal." And all this is possible, because I just keep "showin' up."

Well, I couldn't even post the exciting news about my 15K until I got that out of the way. I never ever thought that on May 24th what was an inkling of a thought about doing something 4 months off would turn into this journey.

Sunday, I completed my very first 15K...which is the super fancy and much more interesting way of saying 9.3 miles, which gosh, dog still sounds pretty crazy. Last week, my training partner and I walked around White Rock Lake for 9.3 miles (in 3h 7m 7s), but it was at a slow comfortable pace (something like 21 minute miles), and it was all about finishing. This week we were trying for a small time improvement.

Dina (our friend) joined us on our walk. She walked with Brandie at the last H&H Event for the 5K when I did the 10K. And Dina, Brandie, and I all traded off on pushing D (Brandie's son) in the stroller. He did great, but I learned quickly why Brandie gets on to him for squirming around. Any small movement, and the stroller becomes about 25% harder to push. He did great and was a real trooper for the walk. Dina only did the 10K, and she graciously offered to stay with D while Brandie and I finished the last 5K without the stroller (or D). In order to make the course more manageable for the water stops and the medics, the H&H crew suggested we do the 10K course first, then walk back past the finish line to add another 5K which essentially required us to pass the finish line (and small crowd) about 3 times before even finishing the race. I think this was tougher on my training partner than it was on me, as I was just excited to complete my first ever 15K. I appreciated the cheers and was glad to see people when we had only seen trees otherwise.

The first 10K were wonderful, achievable, invigorating, and I loved the conversations! But the next 5K seemed to be a definite new challenge for both my training partner and myself, but in very different ways. Brandie asked me to not talk to her once we reached the sunny part, and I quickly realized some things about my walking styles...with people versus alone.

I learned that when I am alone, I go fast, and I maintain my posture, my arms at 90 degree angles, my feet rolling, and my hips rotating in a much better position, but I also need my music and distractions when I am alone. I tend to go pretty fast when I am alone, but I don't mind giving that up for walking with other people. When I am with other people, I love the conversation, I enjoy talking, and I am charged by the conversation, even if I am tired or stressed. When I am wanting to quit, just being around someone pushes me through. Quality time is definitely my number 1 love language. But it can also be a distraction.

So after about a torturous mile of not talking (I felt like my daughter probably feels when we ask her to quit talking...I was just dieing to talk), a new friend Brenda came down the trail towards us to get the 5K turn around sign. I picked it up since I called Libby and we were the last on the 5K trail. Brenda carried it and talked with me the rest of the way back. She had read my H&H bio and we talked about diabetes. She works with diabetics, and I really enjoyed talking to her.

At the end, D was screaming for his mama, and it was very precious. He was so proud!!! What an awesome memory! We finished up in a pretty good time (one easier for me to beat than my 10K was) and by the time we did the math, we realized if we go at that same rate, we will be able to finish the Half Marathon in under 4 hours which is when the course closes (although Paula and Libby said they'd hold it open for us) and a personal goal for ourselves.

CAUTION - PROCEED WITH CAUTION
The below paragraphs contain my thoughts and opinions, which you may or may not agree with, but nonetheless they are MY opinions. I know they are not nice or the most politically correct opinions, but they are MINE.

I also noticed that the 15K didn't feel quite as boast-worthy as the 10K, and it really had me look at why am I doing this...am I doing this to brag/boast or am I doing it for daily health. I think the initial brag was a good motivator, but I also think that when that wears off it is what separates the marathon (or even half) runners (or even walkers) from the fresh resolve makers (which I have been 100 times before).

Today on the Tyra Banks show (I usually can't stand her) they had several morbidly obese guests who were trying to convince Tyra they liked their morbid obesity. One thing a lady who had lost about 150 pounds said, was that there are no fat old people. I thought that was really the most profound statement of the whole show, and I thought, you know, today, thank God, I am on the graph away from that destiny rather than towards it. I used to think "skinny" or rather "healthy" people just had it handed to them, that it was easy, but the more I learn about others and myself, I am learning that being healthy is work...hard work, but that is probably also more at the root of why people view as a general statement healthy people as attractive. It seems to be that our subconscious knows that healthy people are hard workers. I know that those viewpoints would be slaughtered on any politically correct forum or even if I posted that on facebook, but you know what...this is MY blog. And today, I am grateful that *I* am on this journey in this direction. Because I have been on the other way on that graph for many, many years.

I'm working on trying to get my motivation intrinsically versus from others more these days, and I'm finding a lot about the difference between walking regularly versus training for a half marathon. From what began as a far off goal and one of those things I'd love to brag about some day to what has turned into a lifestyle and part of my daily health management, this journey has been not at all what I ever expected (or I probably would have started it sooner, which ironically would probably have made it not as impactful as it has been for me).

My sister and my father are considering doing the Half Marathon also, and I am super excited about that. The main decision I will be facing will be who to walk this with and what is best for me and my journey. I learned this weekend that I need conversation, but that it can slow me down. I also learned that walking alone is more, oh, what's the word...I want to say monotonous, but in a good way. I am charged by the energy of others, but in that same way, I can also be oh, easily un-charged by others, too. That has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else, it is 100% about me and my makeup....how I am made. I believe that the best method will be revealed to me through time, but I just need to keep showin' up.

Lesson for the day: I am charged and de-charged by people's energy around me, not good or bad about them, it just is the way it is; the more I face my disease head-on, the less I feel driven by it; enjoy the milestones; JUST SHOW UP!!!!

Time: 6:30a - 9:15a
Temp: 78 - 85 degrees, hot, clear skies
Distance: 9.3 miles/15K
Event: Heels and Hills Dollar a K - 15K (first ever)
Time: 2:48:20.2
Pace: 18:06/m
MPH: 3.31
Half estimate: 3h 57m